Stages

 

Even before Taylor was born, I knew that having two kids would be drastically different than having one child. Most of my friends already two (or more) so I had seen it first-hand. Throughout my pregnancy, I worried about how I would possibly pay attention to two at one time, how Andrew would deal with the change and how Adam and I would adjust. In comparison to Andrew, Taylor is a relatively calm baby (so far...fingers crossed). She is content to sleep in the ergo or bouncer for hours, giving me two free hands to wrangle a busy toddler. Not to say that two is easy. Far from it. Yesterday, at the park, I had to pick a tantruming (because I wouldn't allow him to play in the street) Andrew off the pavement and fling him under one arm and walk up a steep grass hill. Meanwhile, poor Taylor had somebody screaming in her ear while she was bounced around and jostled. And it was about 80 degrees out. If you've ever "worn " a baby in the heat, you understand. Good times.   My mind floated back to when Andrew was an infant and I would sit on the couch, relaxing while he slept or we would take walks to the store. I could even shower while he was in the bouncy seat, make dinner or read some books. With one, you actually can sleep while they do, but with two? Good luck. Looking back, I would say having one baby was a breeze, although it didn't feel that way at the time. Going from no kids to one means the loss of the life you once knew- there was now a person that came before my "wants" and "needs." No more spontaneous happy hours, long workouts at the gym or sleeping as late as we pleased on Saturday and Sunday mornings. Not to mention, Andrew was (is) quite a spirited baby. I have come to the realization all stages in life are difficult because they are new, and not necessarily because any one stage in life is harder than the next. Back in 1999, starting college seemed like the hardest thing I had ever done. I was on my own for the first time and had to balance school with work and a social life. Sure, I see now just how easy my life was back then, but it sure didn't feel that way at the time. Why? Because it was new. Same with when I graduated and started my first teaching position, renting my first apartment on my own and managing my own money. It felt hard at the time and I wished for my carefree college days. Right now, two kids feels hard. However, I am sure when they are teenagers, I will think back to how easy it was having younger children. Right now, I deal with tantrums and crying, but at least it is over silly things- like having a favorite Mickey Mouse shirt in the wash. With teens, new hardships come into play- like driving, making good decisions and doing well in school. And... you cannot simply throw a tantruming teens under your arm and place them in their stroller! Having to juggle attention between two will continue, but no longer will I have to decide who to go to first when they are crying, but instead whose game or activity to go to... .There will also come a day when neither wants our attention as often, and I know when this time comes, I will truly miss the stage we are in now.   Rather than complain about how difficult things seem at the moment , I will try to enjoy this time now because I know that one day I will miss it- well maybe not the lack of sleep. I will definitely not miss that.