Saturday, August 17, 2013

Decisions, decisons...

One thing that I am aware of is that I have a "type A" personality. My closet is organized by type and color and I religiously make the bed each day. This personality also seeps into my professional life. As a teacher, I feel confident when I in total control of my classroom. For this reason, I have yet to enlist a student teacher, plan lessons weeks in advance and rarely take a day off. I just cannot stand to have somebody else running my classroom.

For these reasons, the decision I made last week was a tough one.

I decided to take the first half of the year off and stay at home with Andrew. Let me also tell you I NEVER thought I would want to stay at home and always pictured that it would be easy to return to work because I was sure I would be bored. Truly, I love working. Weird, I know, but I do.

I figured I would be completely ready to go back in September when Andrew was a little over three months. But I was not. In fact, I was dreading it.

I considered my options...could I really take more time off? Would a sub totally ruin my classroom?

This is where my "type A-ness" actually assisted me in making the decision. After contacting the district office, I discovered I had nearly 80 sick days/personal days at my disposal. This was due to my near perfect attendance over the past 9 years of teaching. These days would get me through December and I could return to work in January (after winter break). I officially put in my request and it was accepted. I will attend the first few days of school to get to know the students, but then I will have the next several months off to spend with Andrew.

Honestly, this has been a tremendous weight lifted off of my shoulders. I do know that I am ultimately postponing the inevitable and that it may actually be more difficult to return when he is almost 8 months old. It may be. But I do know this is the right decision for me now. 

As somebody who NEVER had any intentions or desire to stay at home,  this whole situation threw me for a loop. I guess I never knew who strong my love would be for this little man or that I would actually want to spend my entire day just staring at him. Funny how one little human can change your whole world...