What not to wear?

Today, I was at the mall looking for a new pair of jorts (jeans + shorts= jorts) for my sister's "western theme" bachelorette party and stumbled across something very disturbing:

These:

Yup. The high-waisted denim you may remember from the 70's is back and this is NOT a good thing. Basically, these are "mom" jeans hacked off and give even the most petite girls a long butt. I am not sure who would want to add length to their derriere, but apparently many people do  judging by the ratio of high-waisted shorts to regular ones. They are  found in nearly every store- from Nordstrom to Forever 21 for women of all ages to try out. Here is a sampling of the myriad of styles I found:

With color and a bit of "bling" these bring back memories of "hypercolor"

Or for a more rugged look, slip on a faded pair...with plaid shirt or large hat. See, you can still show off your upper stomach when your pants go up to your belly button.

Perhaps these "modern" gems are more your style. See how they also elongate the crotch are- always flattering:

 

I get that these are trending right now, and they may even look wonderful on a select few women (ones with model figures) but do no favors for us average folk.

So, this is one fashion statement I will be avoiding this summer season. Let's just hope come fall, people are not sporting these with colored tights underneath.

On a positive note- they do eliminate the dreaded "muffin top" plaguing society for the past few years when  "super low-rise pants" were all the rage. And that, in itself, might be worth the the abundance elongated butts roaming around.