A cleanse to start the new year!

Hey there! So, I realize that it has been eons since I last wrote! As of late, I have suffered a bit of writer's block and could, seriously, find NOTHING to write about... until recently.

Last week, in a attempt to jump-start 2010, Adam and I embarked on a "cleanse" called the "Hollywood Diet." I also figured it might turn into a great blog entry.

Now, usually, I absolutely cannot stand any diets what-so-ever, and believe in exercise and healthy eating as the only ways to really lose and keep weight off.

The reason behind our brilliant idea to try this diet was to clear our systems of any toxins and allow ourselves to start off a healthy diet on the right foot! Immediately, I googled "cleanse diets" and discovered one with minimal side-effects called "The Hollywood Miracle Diet."

Most of the reviews were okay, most cleansers stating that the weight lost did not stay off (duh...it is a CLEANSE and you have to eat healthy once you are done)! There were also complaints about the cost. One reviewer commented, "it would have been cheaper to purchase juice and drink it three times during the day."

Reading on, I learned that to correctly participate in the "Hollywood Diet" one must not eat ANYTHING for the entire time, and must drink the special juice three times during the day. Also, NO caffeine (perhaps this would be more difficult than I anticipated)! Cleansers could opt for either the 24 or 48 hour cleanse.

As a reward for fasting, cleansers would be detoxed and be free of headaches, acne, insomnia, and a myriad of other conditions brought on by toxins in the body.

Since we were new to this, I opted for the 24 hour plan. The site also recommended that those new to this should pick a day when they did not have to go anywhere. Brushing this advice aside (like I was going to ditch a day of work to stay home and starve), I announced to Adam that we were starting on Monday. Work would serve as a better distraction from food than sitting at home, where the refrigerator would be beckoning me to consume the food within.

On Sunday I strolled into the local GNC in search of the "Hollywood Diet" and located the bottles in the "Cleanse" section. An overly peppy girl attempted to persuade me NOT to buy the Hollywood diet drink, showing me other cleanses that were healthier and actually allowed one to eat during the day.

"Um, okay. I will look at some of these others," I said. Mainly to get her to go away. The other bottles of pills consisted of a two-week plan. Way to long. Why would it take two weeks to cleanse yourself of toxins. I just wanted to get this over with. Quickly.

"I like these, " she said, thrusting a bottle with a picture of some sort of herb on the label.

Ignoring her advice, I bought two bottles of the "Hollywood" juice instead and headed home.

At 5:30 Monday morning, I broke the first rule on the label and drank two cups of coffee (like I was really going to not eat ALL day with no caffeine)! Maybe I can say that my 24 hour fast began at 7am?

The first part of the day was not bad...I sipped on the (surprisingly) tasty juice throughout the morning. This is easy, I told myself. Those reviewers were crazy. During my lunch break, I googled 'The Hollywood Diet" again, and read that some people cleansed once a week. Hmmm....maybe I could do that? I could become one of those super-healthy granola- types who went to Yoga and only ate organic food.

As my 5th and 6th period students entered the classroom, my head seemed to throb a bit, so I popped a couple of Advil. It was then I realized that I felt almost...well, HIGH?

I began talking super-fast, and could not stop fidgeting. I tapped my fingers, paced the room-which was actually a good thing as the kids were taking a big test that day and it allowed me monitor the room with ease. A couple of time between 2 and 3, I did start to feel slightly dizzy and had to stop walking and grab a seat.

Luckily, the bell rang at 3pm and after deciding I was too light-headed to grade the tests, decided to drive home and try to wait out the rest of this fast.

I called Adam on my way home and he (in typical Adam fashion) accused me of sneaking snacks at work. Which I did not do, in case you are wondering.

" What did you do today?" I questioned him.

He described an excruciating trip to Costco where samples of delicious items seemed to jump out at him, asking him to just have a little taste. He said he needed to leave in order to resist. This was a good reminder for me not to stop by the grocery store. Errands could wait until tomorrow...when I had more energy.

"You going to the gym? It says on the Hollywood Diet site that you can work out on the stuff."

Was he crazy? I could barely walk, let alone would running be fathomable! I told him "no" and that I would be home soon. Suddenly, I felt incredibly delirious and wondered if it was safe for me to be driving? Probably not.

Once home, Adam and I spent the rest of the evening snapping at one another, as I rolled around the couch clutching my stomach and bitching

I had never gone this long without eating, except for maybe freshman year of college when I had Mono.

We drank the last serving of our "magic juice" in silence occasionally bursting out in unprovoked laughter-like i said, not eating all day can make one feel rather "high."

Proudly, I can say...we did make it the entire 24 hours!

I am not sure if either of us actually lost the 5 pound promised, but I will say, the first meal we had (egg-white omelets with spinach) was GLORIOUS! New appreciation for food was diffidently a positive side to this silly diet.

Other than that...pretty sure the reviewer who claimed you could just buy fruit juice and do the same diet was right on! Also, heeding her advice would have saved me 20 bucks!

Conclusion- The Hollywood Diet is more of a test in self-restraint than a "detoxifying cleanse."