Unsolicited Advice

Before I begin, let me say that I honestly did attempt to blog about a topic other than pregnancy, but my life has been seriously boring as of late. The only other topics that came to mind had to do with going back to school or teaching...which I think might be even more dull.

You may remember back in December when I stated that I did not look pregnant. Well, I definitely do now. I am really starting to question the validity of the show "I didn't know I was Pregnant" because I not only look REALLY pregnant, but feel that way as well! In fact, both random strangers and people I know like to make comments regarding the matter. Really tactful statements such as:

- Oh wow! You still have two months!? You're stomach is HUGE!
    Thanks, I had no idea. What stomach?

- Are you sure there are not two babies in there?
            Eff off. That is only response that comes to mind here...

- He is really sticking out front. That must be uncomfortable.
        Nope, I feel totally normal. Except that I cannot paint my toenails or wear normal pants...

- Are you sure you should be working out? Isn't that bad for the baby? You could fall.
               Let me add  that my workouts consist of doing yoga, walking and workouts from "Crossfit Moms" (designed specifically for pregnant women). I have yet to see anybody take a tumble whilst in a downward-facing dog or doing squats.

- You should not be reaching above your head. The baby could strangle on the cord!
       Um...pretty sure this is the most ridiculous statement I have heard. Although, it could get me out of lots of work!

- Coffee? Are you supposed to have that when you are pregnant?
      A woman actually had the nerve to ask me this at Starbucks. Rather than give her the medical response (that some caffeine is okay) I simply glared at her.

- Do you plan on getting an epidural? I did it naturally because I really wanted to experience childbirth and I did not want my baby born drugged out.
     I honestly had no response to this comment either. I just smiled and said,"that's nice."

As of this week, I officially have two months left before my due date and we are both getting anxious to meet (the still unnamed) baby boy.

 I will be the first to admit...I am a bit worried about having an actual baby here to take care of because it is a little human we will be completely responsible for. However, parents have been doing it forever and I do know that every baby is different and we will have to see what our little guy is like. (I am already assuming he will stay awake ALL night and SLEEP during the day-since that is his schedule now). I am am also prepared for more comments and advice from strangers after the baby has arrived (shifting from pregnancy tips to child-raising tips).

Honestly, I think we will be able to figure it out (and we have TONS of friends with babies to ask for advice if needed).

Besides, due to my experience teaching middle school kids, I know that caring for a baby seems to be a piece of cake compared to raising a teenager! At least a baby cannot talk back to you or sneak out of the house...

misconceptions...

As most of you have seen on Facebook, Teddy is soon going to be a "big brother" and we are all thrilled (well, not so sure about Teddy). Although most of my friends have babies and I certainly have seen them through the various stages of pregnancy, I still held certain misconceptions about the reality of it all. Below are some of the myths I would like to debunk:

1) When you are pregnant, you can eat whatever you want and relax on the couch eating ice cream.

Sad to say that this is quite untrue. For the entire first trimester, I felt like eating nothing but white bread or crackers.  Now that I have my appetite back, I am actually eating way healthier than before-lots of protein, fruit and whole grains. Oh yeah and no alcohol. When I have my first glass of wine after the baby arrives, I will probably be completely wasted.

As for the idea of sitting around on the couch- well, I have been doing more of that because my weekend nights are not as crazy, but I still have to go to work everyday. Also, I have still been working out and while my Crossfit Workouts are modified, they feel harder because apparently everything makes you tired when you are with child due to the fact you have more blood pumping through your system.

2) Pregnant women all have a cute, little bump so everybody knows their condition

I blame movies for this one. Often in movies, women are only shown in a certain magical stage of pregnancy where they have a round bump (this is prob because said bump is fake in movies). However, at 16 weeks, I still lack a bump at all and simply look like I have been drinking too much beer! Not a cute look. Nobody show the awkward stage in movies when a women's regular clothes are tight and the maternity clothes are too big.

3) Morning sickness is also how you see it depicted in movies

Once again, I am blaming movies for this misconception. In every movie I have seen, the woman throws up in the morning and then wonders if she might be pregnant (think Katherine Hiegel in "Knocked Up"). I am sure most women will hate me for this, but I never actually threw up at all, although I think I would have felt better if I had.

Instead for weeks, I woke up feeling as if I had a wild night imbibing in drinks the night prior. So, it was like a hangover without the fun to make it worth it. Oh and it lasted ALL day, not just in the morning. Let's just say I did not look my best for these weeks. Of course, when I looked my worst was when nobody knew I was pregnant. I was convinced my co-workers just thought I was overindulging in winter snacks and staying out late partying to obtain the pale, drawn face and bloated belly.

4) It is great we have the Internet so one can stay well-informed during pregnancy

Not true. The Internet is the devil when it comes to anything medical. Now, I was bad about this before, and used to use WedMD to diagnose myself (usually it would say I might have Lupus or a form of Cancer). Being pregnant provides even more opportunities for misinformation and the ability to scare the hell out of you.

For example, the other day, when my legs itched, one website said I might have some horrible aliment that can cause premature labor. The doctor told me it was just dry, winter skin prescribed lotion. Another day, I texted my friend Chrissy, freaking out because I had consumed a hot dog at a work lunch. Later, I read (online) these were not to be consumed during pregnancy. She laughed at me and let me know it would be fine.

My mom is also guilty of looking up symptoms on the Internet. A few weeks ago, I told her I was really thirsty and drinking about 8 bottles of water a day. She called me a few minutes later and told me that I might want to ask my doctor if it could be diabetes, as she read online this was a symptom for it.

 For now, I have (tried) to stay off of the Internet and just ask my friends who have gone through the same experiences recently or wait and ask my doctor.


I have learned so far, that it is best just to consider that every pregnancy is different and not to believe what you see in movies. Oh, and don't worry, now this blog will not be consumed with pregnancy posts or my ultrasound pictures. I plan on continuing to also post about the random thoughts that go through my head on a daily basis. They just probably will not be as interesting, as I usually write better after a few glasses of wine.

Holiday Shopping season has begun!

This fall has been a busy one for me; school starting, my sister's wedding and some more difficult classes. I have missed writing and kept thinking of good blog ideas, but never found the time to actually write about or post them.

After realizing I had not penned a post since AUGUST due to my class schedule this quarter, I carved out some time this AM to do so. Especially since the holiday season has arrived.

Shopping season has officially started, now that we have not only "Black Friday" but "Small-Business Saturday" and "Cyber Monday" and it seems "the week prior to Black Friday" sales.

Ignorantly, I paid a visit to the Alderwood Mall, in the glorious city of Lynnwood, last Sunday to do a bit of shopping. Since I typically shop at time when nobody else does (dinner time during the week), I was ill prepared for the crowd I encountered upon entering. It started off fine. I parked in my "secret spot" (the 2nd level of the Nordstrom parking garage) and headed into Nordstrom. It was more packed than during the week, but all in all, not too bad. Same goes with the new outdoor area. A bit of a crowd, but fairly manageable. I made stops in William Sonoma and Ann Taylor and decided to walk back to Nordstrom inside, since it started to rain.

Bad decision. It was then I remembered why I NEVER shop on the "Sears" side of the mall. First, I had to walk past the germ-infested play area, where I am sure one should not walk if they have not yet had a flu shot. There were so many people, I literally, could not see more than a couple feet in front of me as there were millions (maybe an exaggeration) of people trying obtain early deals in the stores lining this part of the mall.

From there, things got worse. At some point, it was decided to place kiosks in every square inch of the center of the mall walkway. A strange man attempted to apply lotion to my hands, a young women ran after me with a clip of fake hair and I was almost hit by a remote-controlled helicopter. Fortunately,  I survived and made it to the center of the mall-by Macys.

Unfortunately,  Macys was holding its annual perfume sale right outside their entrance. After dodging squirts of perfume and pushy salespeople, I trekked on...to the "skanky" section of the mall. Now, there used to only be a "Forever 21" where one could purchase "going-out-clothes" (only to be worn once, because they fall apart after that). Now, there is about ten stores similar to "Forever 21" all in one area. While passing through this section of the mall, I spotted about twenty teenage girls wearing outfits that did not seem approp for a Sunday mall outing, or were very figure-flattering. Just a tip- if you are wearing a long sweater, you should wear tights/leggings under or you will just appear to have forgotten your pants. Tall boots are not pants.

Finally, after ignoring the remainder of the kiosks, I reached the promised land- Nordstrom. I have never been more excited to be in this store and rewarded myself with several new winter items.

This hellacious visit to the mall did remind me of a couple of important things: 1) Always shop during non-peak hours and 2) Stay away from the Sears side of mall and opt for the outdoor area instead.

That being said, I am surprised that I am actually contemplating if I should hit up any of the actual "Black Friday" sales tomorrow. Might just stick to the (less crowded) "Small-Business Saturday" or the (crowd free) "Cyber Monday" ones instead. Less stress, less crowded and no helicopters flying at my head!

P-Town (no, not Puyallup)

Last week, I ventured five hours east to Wazzu (I think we are allowed to call it that again), otherwise known as the place where I spent the craziest four years of my life. I had not been over for some time, so jumped at the chance to help out with rush (now called recruitment) where I was pleased to see that many of the girls I met reminded so much of my friends and I back in the day.

Since graduating NINE (yes, I am old) years ago, much has changed in Pullman (nicer buildings and a remodeled stadium to name a few). But it was reassuring to see how much remains the same.

It was funny, because as long as I have been gone from WSU, it still feels like "home" every time I return.

"I can't define it; I can't tell somebody who isn't a Cougar what it's like. There's something that happens at Washington State, you quietly and subtly become infected. There are very few people I've ever met who have gone to WSU and not come away with a favorable impression ... Washington State was a passion. Being a Cougar was a passion." -Jim Walden Head Football Coach 1978-86
From his book "Tales from the Washington State Cougars Sideline"

After a busy four days, I drove away from the WSU and thought about the things I missed about my college days:

1) Thinking that a 9:10am class was "early"...I would LOVE to start work at this time now!
2) Having a Pita Pit right up the street
3) Daily Grind Coffee- somebody should really open one up here!
4) Being able to go to all football games without worrying about the following: taking the Friday off of work, obtaining a hotel room (nearly impossible during WSU football season), and hoping the pass is okay to drive over.
5) Having all of my friends (literally) steps or minutes away and ability to hang out with them at a moments notice. It was so great to always have somebody to work out with, have coffee with, go on a walk with or just talk to (in person) without having to plan it in advance. However, I am so grateful we have all remained close and make an effort to see one another on a regular basis.
6) Sunsets and stars in the Palouse- I am not sure I appreciated this much when I was in school, but sure did on my visit.
7) The ability to to drink Busch Light, Franzia and Monarch vodka and think it actually tasted decent. Happy Hour would sure be cheaper if I still felt this way!
8) Being a student in an actually classroom- totally different than going to school online after working all day
9) It was okay to not know what was coming next in life- I was still young and had time to figure it out. Sometimes I miss those days of being so carefree. And to think I completely took them for granted.
10) Party Pics- you never had to worry about who was taking pictures to capture the night. Although now, I just rely on my friend with the nice cameras to upload albums for me.
11) The defined seasons of eastern Washington: Hot summers, cold and snowy winters and crisp/sunny fall days.
12) Driving to and from school with friends, blasting Mr. Big's "To Be With You" and singing loudly the whole way.
13) Seeing people in costumes when it was NOT Halloween and thinking it was completely normal. Luckily as a teacher, this is still normal during "Spirit Weeks" at school!
14) Being able to camp at the Gorge for a concert for the entire weekend and not thinking it was completely disgusting. Attempted this in my late 20's....never again. I will camp in Vantage from now on.
15) Prank calling people after a night out from the room phones (#67= no caller ID) using the Greek Directory. Laughing about it for hours. On a side note: I still think prank calls are funny and it was actually how I met my husband.

And the list could go on and on. However, reminiscing on my college days also makes me realize how incredibly happy I am with who and where I am now in my life.

I will always look back fondly on the memories at WSU and the reassurance that a Cougar is not just something you are when you are in college, but becomes part of who you are later. It is kind of difficult to put into words, but this quote says it best:

"I can't define it; I can't tell somebody who isn't a Cougar what it's like. There's something that happens at Washington State, you quietly and subtly become infected. There are very few people I've ever met who have gone to WSU and not come away with a favorable impression ... Washington State was a passion. Being a Cougar was a passion."-Jim Walden Head Football Coach 1978-86
From his book "Tales from the Washington State Cougars Sideline"

What not to wear?

Today, I was at the mall looking for a new pair of jorts (jeans + shorts= jorts) for my sister's "western theme" bachelorette party and stumbled across something very disturbing:

These:

Yup. The high-waisted denim you may remember from the 70's is back and this is NOT a good thing. Basically, these are "mom" jeans hacked off and give even the most petite girls a long butt. I am not sure who would want to add length to their derriere, but apparently many people do  judging by the ratio of high-waisted shorts to regular ones. They are  found in nearly every store- from Nordstrom to Forever 21 for women of all ages to try out. Here is a sampling of the myriad of styles I found:

With color and a bit of "bling" these bring back memories of "hypercolor"

Or for a more rugged look, slip on a faded pair...with plaid shirt or large hat. See, you can still show off your upper stomach when your pants go up to your belly button.

Perhaps these "modern" gems are more your style. See how they also elongate the crotch are- always flattering:

 

I get that these are trending right now, and they may even look wonderful on a select few women (ones with model figures) but do no favors for us average folk.

So, this is one fashion statement I will be avoiding this summer season. Let's just hope come fall, people are not sporting these with colored tights underneath.

On a positive note- they do eliminate the dreaded "muffin top" plaguing society for the past few years when  "super low-rise pants" were all the rage. And that, in itself, might be worth the the abundance elongated butts roaming around.

I spoke too soon...

You may remember a blog I wrote approximately two weeks ago regarding how I was going to relax this summer. I then described how I really did not have anything to do.

Well...I totally jinxed myself with that post! Currently, I am working on a Masters degree in Literacy through and online university called Walden (don't worry, I had not heard of it either, until I started talking to some other teachers). Adam likes to joke about me attending football games against our rival college, University of Phoenix and asks if I am going to fly to MN for the commencement ceremony. Not possible considering there is NO actual campus, hence NO graduation ceremony.

The online format has actually been great so far, since I can work on my own time and do not have to spend my evenings sitting in a classroom.

Since beginning the course in October, I have felt the classes were fairly doable with my busy schedule. One discussion post each week (due Wednesday) and a paper (usually about 3-5 pages) due Sunday. Most of the work involved lessons in our own classrooms, so I was confident with the workload. Even though I would rather be watching "Pretty Little Liars" instead of writing a paper,  I always submitted work on time and have yet to earn less than a B+ on any assignment.

So, a summer course should be a breeze, I thought. Plus I have TONS of free time now that I am not working.

Apparently the program designers at Walden thought so too, because the class I am taking this summer is by far the most difficult one yet. It is called "Action Research" and is similar to studies one would conduct if working toward a Doctorate in Administration or Education. At the conclusion of the class, we are required to publish our findings. And these are not the usually 3-5 page papers of classes past, but 10-12 page documents!

Let me make this clear- I have ZERO desire to A) Become a professor  or B) Work as a principal or other type of administrator. One of the reasons I went into teaching is because I enjoy working with kids and do not think I would like to be in charge of my peers.

I am keeping up with the course thus far, although the sunshine Seattle has given us recently is making it difficult. Today, I have already spent four hours reading, researching and writing a paper on "How the use of technology can increase student motivation in writing" (I know, you are all DYING to read it when I finish- don't worry, I will gladly email you a copy).

 This adult version of "summer school" is certainly not as enjoyable as I remember summer school being in Pullman (so far, none of my Walden classes have met at The Coug).

While my summer may not be as relaxing as I envisioned, at least I cannot complain of having nothing to do... now I just have to motivate myself to stick it out.

Fifty Shades of...Twilight?

If you are a woman, unless you have been living under a rock, you have most likely heard about "Fifty Shades.” This past week, I read the first book in the "Fifty Shades" series..."Fifty Shades of Grey" partially because I was curious to discover what all of the buzz was about and because it is our current Book Club selection. Since the book has received so much press, I felt I was prepared to handle whatever racy scene the author threw at me.


What I was not prepared for was BAD writing. About one hundred pages in I began to realize this book shares many similarities with another series I despise- Twilight. It was as though the author simply substituted "S&M" and lots of dominant (and weird) sex for the Vampires in "Twilight." Both are "forbidden" and yet Bella and Ana cannot resist their charms.

First of all, the female protagonists in both books have zero personality and nothing at remarkable about them. The authors go out of the way to describe exactly how plain and ordinary they are. Bella and Ana are what literary experts would label as a "Mary Sue"due to the fact they lack any qualities that takes them out of the one-dimensional mode. This is done so the readers or the author can easily insert themselves into the story and become the character (because the character could really be anybody).


In a failed attempt to give Bella and Ana some dimension, they have (gasp) divorced parents, including an absent mother and a father who is caring, but also lacks personality. Since this is never really explained or developed it does not work to add interest to either girl. Despite the "Mary Sueness" of Bella and Ana, they have a flock of male admirers, including men who could really have anybody they want (Edward and Christian).

Speaking of men, in both series the leading men are borderline stalkers. Edward shows up at Bella's window and "flies" around the world to see her. Christian creepily appears at the bar in South Carolina where Ana has gone to visit her mother. And is either of the girls worried about this behavior? No, instead they become obsessed with these stalkers and unable to make any decisions for themselves.


Another pet peeve of mine in both "Twilight" and "Fifty Shades" is the redundant conversation and word usage. Stephanie Meyer repeats (many) times that Edward "sparkles" while EL James writes in excess about Christian's eyes. Also, Ana says "Oh Crap" about twenty times throughout the novel during her many annoying monologues. The book is also full of big words where a simple word would have sufficed. I found this incredibly annoying, as though Meyer and James circles "Dead Words” and used a thesaurus to replace them-something I have my sixth-grade students do.

I am truly not knocking either author, because obviously they figured out what readers want (hence the incredible popularity of both series). I get "Grey" is supossed to be an "erotic novel" and not taken too seriously and honesty that aspect of it did not bother me in the least. However, there is no denying that both books lack the character development needed to hold my interest. I did not care what happened to Bella or Ana and as with "Twilight" will not be reading the rest of the series.