Misconceptions in month two...

Even before Andrew was born, I felt I knew quite a bit about babies from watching friends and relatives with their little guys. The doctor and classes at the hospital also provided us with advice for comforting and caring for newborns.

While some of this information turned out to be accurate, some of it did not hold true for our baby.

Here are those misconceptions:

1) All babies LOVE car rides. Get an infant seat so you can carry them from the car to your destination while they are asleep.

This is a rare pic of Andrew SLEEPING in the cars eat!

False for Andrew. More than false. He HATES either his car seat, the car... or possibly both. I have yet to carry a sleeping Andrew from the car in his seat. There are rare occasions where he might entertain himself for 15 minutes (even more unlikely) fall asleep, but most of the time this is not the case. Last night he cried for the duration of a 45 minute trip. It is awful, mostly because I cannot pick him up and feel horrible. I also feel like I, seriously, am a danger on the road as I attempt to get home at a record pace.

We have tried everything: pacifiers (he also does not like those), music, rolling the windows down, sun shields and dangling toys. The other night, I frantically ordered a convertible seat on Amazon because I read some babies dislike the angle of the infant seats. We have yet to put it in, but plan to this week!

Hopefully he outgrows this. Until then, I am getting quite a bit of exercise walking everywhere with him in the Ergo.

2) Babies like to sleep in the bedroom with you in a basinet.

We did try a few nights in the bassinet, but our active buddy needed more room. Even at a few days old, he was kicking the sides of it and waking himself up. After that, we put him in the crib and he seems to enjoy his space. Let's hope we can get him out of there when he needs to move to a "big kid bed."

3) Babies like pacifiers and being swaddled

Right after he was born- already has his hands out of the swaddle...

Andrew looks at us like we are stupid when we try to give him one. He might suck on it while somebody is holding it, but then he spits it out. I have ordered (again on Amazon) about 10 different kinds, but to no avail. Now my hope is that he finds his finger/thumb to help with the hellacious car rides.

As for swaddling- he broke out of the swaddle even when they were done by the professionals at the hospital so we kind of gave up on it. He regularly broke out of our swaddles too and then it was dangerous to have him in the crib (where the blanket could suffocate him). I know swaddling calms many babies and perhaps we should have worked on it more?

4) A rocking chair is a necessity in a babies room

I think I used the rocking chair for a week and then realized the couch was must more comfortable when he work up in the middle of the night. Here I could relax and catch up on my 80's sitcoms.

5) Newborns are super easy to take places, because they just sleep all of the time

Perhaps some newborns do. Mine? Not so much. He has slept through several dinners out in the carrier, but other than that, he up most of the day. Rather than taking long naps during the day, he prefers 20 minute naps and then will wake up ready to play. Or cry. Or both. Regardless, we have no plans to take him to a wedding or movie any time soon!

My mom claims this as Karma because I never slept during the day either.

I guess the consensus I have come up with is that "all babies are different." What works for one baby may or may not work for another. My friend Alicia also told me that just because they dislike something one day, does not mean they will not like it the next. They are constantly growing and changing as well. Good advice.

Lessons Learned in month #1

As of yesterday, Andrew is 5 weeks old. Certainly, both Adam and myself have learned a great deal in the month+ of being new parents. Basic things like using a Diaper Genie, bathing a newborn or tips for burping a baby or how to assemble an infant swing.

 Also, there are those lessons that one cannot learn simply from reading a book or a guide: Never, for example, did I think I could love somebody so much after first meeting them. I now understand what parents mean when they say this.

There are however, myriad of random tidbits of information I discovered thus far in my life as a new mom:

1) There is an entire channel dedicated to 80's sitcoms (HUB) and you can even catch "Who's the Boss" reruns at 2am.

2) It is possible to shower and get ready in 20 minutes.

3) That being said, I never fathomed I might have to choose whether to nap or get ready for the day. Or even needing a nap at all for that matter.

4) Going to do anything by MYSELF feels refreshing and somewhat weird. This includes trips to the grocery store.

5) Although I cannot actually work out yet, I feel my arms are getting quite strong from lifting the BOB stroller out of my trunk. Also, since Andrew only likes it when it is continuously bounced, this adds to the muscle fatigue. Add attempting to walk a dog in the mix, and I think it might beat a Crossfit WOD!

 

 

6) It is okay to sing to babies- they do not care if you are (literally) the world's worse singer. It also might be okay to read your baby the newest Dan Brown novel (Inferno) rather than a baby book from time to time. Don't judge- it's the only time I can find to read.

7) Ordering online is the most fantastic thing ever- as are drive-thru restaurants and coffee stands. This was a concept foreign to me prior, as I LOVED getting out of my car and going into said establishment.

8) I never knew beer could taste so delicious. Or that one beer is all I can drink now without really feeling the effects. Probably because this has been the longest time period I have gone without alcohol since I was...I don't know, maybe 16? Again, don't judge.

9) Having a newborn sleep on you makes you feel instantly tired as well. Definitely a cure for insomnia.

10) It is possible to fly by even though all that was done was changing, feeding and playing with a baby all day.

11) The following constantly have "marathons" and you can watch them all day (if you choose): Love it or List It, What Not to Wear, Bones, CSI, Bones, 16 and Pregnant or Criminal Minds.

Don't ever let me do the following...

So, people say that having a child changes not only your life but who you are as a person as well. I am sure this is true, but there are several things I will strive NEVER to do.  Feel free to let me know if you see the following occurring:

1) Getting a "mom" haircut or forgetting to color my hair regularly. Yes, I know I will be busy, but that is no excuse for a hairdo like Kate Goslings!

2) Allowing my child to run around with "Sticky Jam Hands" after eating. This is more of an issue when kids get older and go to school. I still remember the kids in my class that reeked of breakfast food and were covered in Maple Syrup each day. And no, I was not just envious because we only ate cold cereal!

3) Wear "Mom Jeans" especially if they are made by LEE or have pleats. A long, flat butt look is not a good one for anybody.



4) Overshare disgusting things on Facebook about my child's daily activities. This includes: anything about excrement, boogers, breast feeding, vomit or pictures of any said items. Please really let me know if I "Instagram" pictures of above items that I have really lost it!

 

 

 

That being said, anxiously awaiting Baby Boy Brown's (no, we still have not decided on a name- we are not just keeping it a secret) arrival! Any day now...feel free to make your appearance SOON little guy!



And the Oscar goes to...

Every year when the Oscar nominees are announced, I always make a point to watch the movies nominated. Sometimes they are excellent and other times...not so much. However, rarely are these movies ones I would ever watch twice.

Take Zero Dark Thirty for example. A well done picture, but I could never envision myself sitting through it again. Same goes for Argo, Silence of the Lambs, American Beauty or Lord of the Rings (okay, so I hated that one the FIRST time and may have fallen asleep mid-way through).

Some, such as Forest Gump or Braveheart, I have enjoyed multiple times, but they don't have the pull that my all time favorites do.

There are certain movies, I would literally watch over and over again...and not grow tired of them.  If there was an Oscar category for "watchability" the following, in no particular order, would defnintely get my vote (I have also included a favorite quote from each):

1) Mean Girls (2004)

Karen: You know who's looking fine tonight? Seth Mosakowski.
Gretchen: Okay, you did not just say that.
Karen: What? He's a good kisser.
Gretchen: He's your cousin.
Karen: Yeah, but he's my first cousin.
Gretchen: Right.
Karen: So, you have your cousins, and then you have your first cousins, and then you have your second cousins...
Gretchen: No, honey, uh-uh.
Karen: That's not right, is it?
Gretchen: That is so not right.

2) Troop Beverly Hills (1989)

"It was a cold and rainy day in March. I went to Kristoff's where I usually get my hair done but Kristoff wasn't there. He had mysteriously disappeared. In his place was a stranger named Rinaldo. I'll never forget him. His eyes were steely gray. His hands were like ice. He said, "I'll streak your hair and I'll give you a body wave." He worked very fast and then, as he turned my chair around to face the mirror, I saw it. He permed me!"

3) Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

Buffy: All I want to do is graduate from high school, go to Europe, marry Christian Slater, and die. Now it may not sound too great to a sconehead like you, but I think it's swell. And you come along and tell me I'm a member of the hairy mole club so you can *throw* things at me?

4) Heathers (1988)

Heather Chandler: You wanted to be a member of the most powerful clique in school. If I wasn't already the head of it, I'd want the same thing.

5) Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." — Ferris

7) Love Actually (2003) 

Prime Minister: Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often, it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know, none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around.

8) Boyz in the Hood (1991)

Furious Styles: Why is it that there is a gun shop on almost every corner in this community?
The Old Man: Why?
Furious Styles: I'll tell you why. For the same reason that there is a liquor store on almost every corner in the black community. Why? They want us to kill ourselves.

9) Legally Blonde (2001)

Vivian: Nice outfit.
Elle: Oh, I like your outfit too, except when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated.

10) Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (1985) 

Lynne: Whenever I'm in a room with a guy, no matter who it is - a date my dentist, anybody - I think, If we were the last two people on Earth, would I puke if he kissed me?

Others that almost made the list: 16 Candles, Top Gun, Mallrats, Jawbreaker, Sugar and Spice, Bring it On, Usual Suspects, Dirty Dancing, A League of their Own, Can't Buy Me Love and Clueless

Anti-hoarder

The other day I was flipping channels and ended up watching a bit of the show Hoarders on A&E. You know the show- the one where people have ungodly amounts of garbage (sometimes literally) in their homes. In this episode, it was so bad the woman had to sleep on a pillow...in her kitchen. I get that these people have some serious issues, but I cannot fathom how one can let things get to this state.

This may be due to the fact I have the exact opposite problem. I get rid of everything. Accumulation of junk drives me crazy and I cannot stand clutter of any kind. If I am done using it...out of my house it goes.

Most people perform the annual task of cleaning out their closets. I do this monthly. It bothers me when yesterday's newspaper is still sitting on the table. And...don't get me started about dishes in the sink or an unmade bed. I have even been known to organize junk drawers. One day, I organized my husband's side of the closet...arranging his clothes by type and color (no, this did not last).

Okay, so I admit to being a bit OCD, but it is a good distraction when I am supposed to working on other things. Plus, when I have let things go, it never works out well. Yesterday, I left a pile of "Thank You" cards out on the stairs (I was planning to mail them when I had a chance). Upon arriving home from work, I discovered Teddy (our Westie) had eaten half of the cards. They were all over the house! Lesson learned.


This urge to declutter continues at work. When I first started teaching, I kept everything. I just assumed this is what one did. As soon as we started using projectors rather than overheads (wow, I just totally aged myself), all of this went into the recycle. Now, I have everything neatly organized on my computer. My desk is always clean and the counter space is clear of paper- everything neatly in baskets.

What is wrong with being an anti-hoarder you might ask? Well, occasionally, I toss (or donate) something I wished I had not. For example, my entire National Board Portfolio? Missing. Mistakenly, I assumed I had backed it up on my thumb drive. When the information was deleted from my computer, I lost the entire thing. Sometimes, I will look for an article of clothing and realize it is now at the Goodwill.

Overall though, no major issues have arisen due to my habit. Unlike on  Hoarders, none of my family or friends have nominated me to have my habit examined by psychologists on national television. Nor have I been at risk of being evicted from my residence. Instead I just get irritated when junk piles up.

However, with a baby on the way, I know that I will need to let my guard down a bit. There may be days when dishes do sit out longer than I would like. Toys might not be put away and there may even be days when clothes are on the floor. While this is not as severe as what one might see on Hoarders, it is something I will have to be okay with. 

And I am sure a new baby will be a distraction from the mess. I might not notice it (well, at least not as much). However, if you ever come over to my house and have to clear a path to navigate from room to room- feel free to stage an intervention (see picture below).

Unsolicited Advice

Before I begin, let me say that I honestly did attempt to blog about a topic other than pregnancy, but my life has been seriously boring as of late. The only other topics that came to mind had to do with going back to school or teaching...which I think might be even more dull.

You may remember back in December when I stated that I did not look pregnant. Well, I definitely do now. I am really starting to question the validity of the show "I didn't know I was Pregnant" because I not only look REALLY pregnant, but feel that way as well! In fact, both random strangers and people I know like to make comments regarding the matter. Really tactful statements such as:

- Oh wow! You still have two months!? You're stomach is HUGE!
    Thanks, I had no idea. What stomach?

- Are you sure there are not two babies in there?
            Eff off. That is only response that comes to mind here...

- He is really sticking out front. That must be uncomfortable.
        Nope, I feel totally normal. Except that I cannot paint my toenails or wear normal pants...

- Are you sure you should be working out? Isn't that bad for the baby? You could fall.
               Let me add  that my workouts consist of doing yoga, walking and workouts from "Crossfit Moms" (designed specifically for pregnant women). I have yet to see anybody take a tumble whilst in a downward-facing dog or doing squats.

- You should not be reaching above your head. The baby could strangle on the cord!
       Um...pretty sure this is the most ridiculous statement I have heard. Although, it could get me out of lots of work!

- Coffee? Are you supposed to have that when you are pregnant?
      A woman actually had the nerve to ask me this at Starbucks. Rather than give her the medical response (that some caffeine is okay) I simply glared at her.

- Do you plan on getting an epidural? I did it naturally because I really wanted to experience childbirth and I did not want my baby born drugged out.
     I honestly had no response to this comment either. I just smiled and said,"that's nice."

As of this week, I officially have two months left before my due date and we are both getting anxious to meet (the still unnamed) baby boy.

 I will be the first to admit...I am a bit worried about having an actual baby here to take care of because it is a little human we will be completely responsible for. However, parents have been doing it forever and I do know that every baby is different and we will have to see what our little guy is like. (I am already assuming he will stay awake ALL night and SLEEP during the day-since that is his schedule now). I am am also prepared for more comments and advice from strangers after the baby has arrived (shifting from pregnancy tips to child-raising tips).

Honestly, I think we will be able to figure it out (and we have TONS of friends with babies to ask for advice if needed).

Besides, due to my experience teaching middle school kids, I know that caring for a baby seems to be a piece of cake compared to raising a teenager! At least a baby cannot talk back to you or sneak out of the house...

misconceptions...

As most of you have seen on Facebook, Teddy is soon going to be a "big brother" and we are all thrilled (well, not so sure about Teddy). Although most of my friends have babies and I certainly have seen them through the various stages of pregnancy, I still held certain misconceptions about the reality of it all. Below are some of the myths I would like to debunk:

1) When you are pregnant, you can eat whatever you want and relax on the couch eating ice cream.

Sad to say that this is quite untrue. For the entire first trimester, I felt like eating nothing but white bread or crackers.  Now that I have my appetite back, I am actually eating way healthier than before-lots of protein, fruit and whole grains. Oh yeah and no alcohol. When I have my first glass of wine after the baby arrives, I will probably be completely wasted.

As for the idea of sitting around on the couch- well, I have been doing more of that because my weekend nights are not as crazy, but I still have to go to work everyday. Also, I have still been working out and while my Crossfit Workouts are modified, they feel harder because apparently everything makes you tired when you are with child due to the fact you have more blood pumping through your system.

2) Pregnant women all have a cute, little bump so everybody knows their condition

I blame movies for this one. Often in movies, women are only shown in a certain magical stage of pregnancy where they have a round bump (this is prob because said bump is fake in movies). However, at 16 weeks, I still lack a bump at all and simply look like I have been drinking too much beer! Not a cute look. Nobody show the awkward stage in movies when a women's regular clothes are tight and the maternity clothes are too big.

3) Morning sickness is also how you see it depicted in movies

Once again, I am blaming movies for this misconception. In every movie I have seen, the woman throws up in the morning and then wonders if she might be pregnant (think Katherine Hiegel in "Knocked Up"). I am sure most women will hate me for this, but I never actually threw up at all, although I think I would have felt better if I had.

Instead for weeks, I woke up feeling as if I had a wild night imbibing in drinks the night prior. So, it was like a hangover without the fun to make it worth it. Oh and it lasted ALL day, not just in the morning. Let's just say I did not look my best for these weeks. Of course, when I looked my worst was when nobody knew I was pregnant. I was convinced my co-workers just thought I was overindulging in winter snacks and staying out late partying to obtain the pale, drawn face and bloated belly.

4) It is great we have the Internet so one can stay well-informed during pregnancy

Not true. The Internet is the devil when it comes to anything medical. Now, I was bad about this before, and used to use WedMD to diagnose myself (usually it would say I might have Lupus or a form of Cancer). Being pregnant provides even more opportunities for misinformation and the ability to scare the hell out of you.

For example, the other day, when my legs itched, one website said I might have some horrible aliment that can cause premature labor. The doctor told me it was just dry, winter skin prescribed lotion. Another day, I texted my friend Chrissy, freaking out because I had consumed a hot dog at a work lunch. Later, I read (online) these were not to be consumed during pregnancy. She laughed at me and let me know it would be fine.

My mom is also guilty of looking up symptoms on the Internet. A few weeks ago, I told her I was really thirsty and drinking about 8 bottles of water a day. She called me a few minutes later and told me that I might want to ask my doctor if it could be diabetes, as she read online this was a symptom for it.

 For now, I have (tried) to stay off of the Internet and just ask my friends who have gone through the same experiences recently or wait and ask my doctor.


I have learned so far, that it is best just to consider that every pregnancy is different and not to believe what you see in movies. Oh, and don't worry, now this blog will not be consumed with pregnancy posts or my ultrasound pictures. I plan on continuing to also post about the random thoughts that go through my head on a daily basis. They just probably will not be as interesting, as I usually write better after a few glasses of wine.